Feature Article March 28, 2002
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Genie from a bottleI don't expect her name was Genie, and she hadn't come from a bottle; but obviously her hair colouring had. It was a bright flaming red, cascading down over her shoulders in wave after wave. That, and a very tight fitting pair of jeans with sweater to match, could not but draw male eyes. She turned while doing her task behind the counter and I could see why she wanted to emphasize hair and figure; they were her obvious assets. The image set me to musing, not sexually as her attire encouraged, but about the relationship of courting, deceit, and self-esteem.
She was encouraging male attention, a natural instinct in courting. But an obsession had taken over, forcing her to alter her looks in the hopes of luring a mate of a superior quality than she might be able to attract with her natural individuality.
I was distressed that she had adopted the bygone image of my youth; hair wavy and flaming red, but now a thinning rust. My once colourful plumes had done their job and attracted a mate (I privately muse about what I would have now to flaunt if I were unhappy, single, and had to re-court?) I was resentful that she thought she could imitate the joy of being a red head without the baggage and character building that went with it.
One has to be a natural red head, as one has to be fat, thin, gawky, pretty, or in any way different, to earn the advantages and disadvantages that accompany the distinction. Beauty and character cannot be poured from a bottle. You are what you are. Over the years you evolve from the image with which you are born and have to accept and defend it throughout a lifetime.
In addition to the disadvantages of being different, a soul apart from the crowd, there are advantages. Nothing will better build, or destroy, the character of an animal creature more than being slightly different. Watch the pecking order in progress in any hen yard or schoolyard; soon the different sizes, shapes or colours are at war, and a battle for superiority is in progress. Adults are not that much different, but far more subtle. How far have we progressed from the basic animal instincts of survival and gaining superiority over others?
One has to be a natural red head and grow up with the taunts and challenges that accompany this flaming crown to appreciate its blessing. There were retorts that had to be created to counter "Hey there, Carrot Top!" Sometimes the repartee "Hey there, yourself! Carrot tops are green, you sniveling idiot!" was sufficient, but with some playmates it took a poke in the nose to get the message delivered that I was a red head and proud of it. Pokes and being poked back develops a thick skin, a callused character and personality. These cannot come from a bottle.
Genie, I muse about you. Why do you lack in self-esteem? What forces you to adopt a different image? Will you be a blonde next to see if you can have more fun? Do you really not want to attract the type of man that may want to court the real you? Do you not wonder about the correlation between the modern emphasis on bottled beauty and the falling marriage success rate?
My young lady, be yourself. Be proud of your natural look; it is only skin deep and as such will let the inner self shine through unencumbered by a false outer layer of deceit. Real magic doesn't come from a bottle, but emanates from you. Good luck on your quest for life, no matter how you pursue it, and thank you for helping me define my character a little better.
