Jeff Green | Feb 12, 2009
Back to HomeThe Bridal Issue - February 12, 2009The Bridal Issue
Create A Ceremony that Works for YouBy Rev. Judie Diamond
Managing Wedding Costs: Is it Need or WantBy Connie Howes
How to Save Money & Not Look CheapBy Connie Howes
LegalesesNot Everyone Can Marry
Recession RingsCreate a ceremony that works for youBy Rev. Judie Diamond
In days of yore, (for example, back when I was married in the 1970’s), along with the “love, honour and obey” promise-premise was obedience of another sort: one played the societal game of formulaic wedding ceremonies. There was a prescription to follow, and many of us never thought consciously about the scope of choices available to us. We did “what was done.” Times have changed. And so has the range of possibilities in the type and style, even in the focus, of wedding and related ceremonies.
What works is being true to yourselves. Although you want to please your parents, children, families, friends and guests, you can do so without placing your dreams and ideals at risk. There are two of you so let your individuality factor in, as well as your common passions and preferences.
Do you love nature? Plan an outdoor wedding. Use your porch, lawn, backyard, waterfront, dock or boat. If you don’t feel you have an appropriate setting where you live, consider (and request the use of) the property of a relative or friend. As another option, couples are often granted permission by the relevant authorities to marry in parks or public waterfronts.
Is money a concern in these difficult economic times? Plan a breakfast, brunch, high tea or barbeque. Marry at home; in the warmth of the atmosphere you cherish most. Keep the dress code simple and individually discerned, rather than having matching clothing with a colour scheme and very specific requirements. Your friends and relatives who participate in the ceremony will be grateful for your consideration. In season, use wildflowers as your décor, or mix them with other plants.
Be true to your values. Trust yourself and yourselves! You know yourself better than anyone knows you. In the days and years ahead (your married days) you will get to know each other as well as you will ever know another person. You have likely begun that journey already. Let the planning of the ceremony be a vehicle for co-creation.
Simplify. Prioritize. Focus. And enjoy the process and the celebration.