Feature Article April Fool's Issue
LAND O' LAKES NewsWeb HomeFrontenac Centre project finds an investor, with a twistby Jeff Green
The seemingly moribund Frontenac Centre project has been given new life with the help of a flamboyant investor from Texas.
Charles Rusty Schenkman from Austin, strode into a joint meeting of the township councils from Frontenac County last week with Economic Development Officer Richard Byrons and revealed his plans.
Shenkman heaped praise on Bryrons, saying without the groundwork being laid I would have never been made aware of this business opportunity in the Frontenacs. It think its fair to say I would have never even heard of the Frontenacs.
The original plan for the Frontenac Centre envisioned a four star rustic-style resort in a wilderness setting with an arts component. Shenkmans design includes many of those aspects, but with what he called a bit of a market -friendly twist.
I love the wilderness setting idea, but the kind of wilderness offered in the cold north is not what people want. So we are going to dome in 100 acres around and in what you call Crotch Lake, and build a tropical paradise.
North Frontenac Mayor Stan Johnston reacted excitedly to Shenkmans proposal, saying finally someone has come up with an idea that will solve the problem of bringing people to the area during the shoulder seasons of September until July.
Shenkman told the meeting he had been working with some technical people in California and thinks he can build a see-through dome that will not encumber the visitors. They wont even know it is there, he added. The dome will protrude into Crotch lake, which will obviously have to be renamed to fit the marketing, said Byrons. The name Lake Coucouracha has a good exotic ring to it, but those details can be worked out later.
Asked by a sceptical councillor from South Frontenac how the visitors will deal with hitting the wall of the dome as they paddled through the lake, Byrons responded, Dont forget, the project is being marketed in cities like Toronto and Ottawa, where the people know even less about the outdoors than Kingstonians. We can easily keep them confused.
Shenkman went on the discuss the importation of plant and animal life to make the tropical paradise seem like a real wilderness setting, as was envisioned in the original concept.
The other striking aspect of the original Frontenac Centre concept was the arts component. Younger and more established artists were to be in residence for periods of time. This was to be the non-profit cultural part of the project, and would be eligible for funding from provincial and federal coffers.
Byrons admitted we miscalculated on this one. It turns out that artists are not quite, well, artsy enough to be interesting to our target market, so on Mr. Shenkmans advice we are going to be exploring aspects of the cinematic arts, rather than the visual arts, at the Frontenac Centre.
Thats right, Shenkman piped in. Were going to get major Hollywood stars to play famous artists from the past during theme weeks. Weve already lined up Dustin Hoffman to play Paul Gaughin during Tahitian month in February of 2006.
Byrons added, It will be easier to leverage grant money from both senior levels of government for something related to the cinematic arts rather than the visual arts. Government officials have told me point blank they find the visual arts boring, and artists dull. They like movie stars, however.
Historically Canadian cities have doubled for American cities, and it is envisioned the Frontenac Tropical Centre can double for various southern locations. There is even talk of setting the popular Survivor or Oprah Winfrey Shows there.
Byrons summed up the concept for the assembled councillors by pointing to the great success story of the Muskokas. Remember, the Muskokas have Goldie Hawn and her husband, the guy who played in The Professor wore Tennis Shoes all those years ago. We need some of that glamour to attract people here. Fishing, swimming, and hunting just dont cut it any more.
A smiling Byrons received flowers and a rare standing ovation from the assembled township councils.
