Sad Anniversary

Anja Cameron | Feb 17, 2016

As is customary, we find tributes to lost loved ones in the next few pages. I’ve never “put anything in” over the past years, not for the lack of seeing beautiful tributes, but rather because I felt I could contribute something in time.

The 21st of Feb. Marks the 6th anniversary of Jedd’s passing. When I share with people how my son died, suicide, it’s like speaking a foreign language. When I paint a picture of Jedd suffering from depression, a look of confusion comes over people. Jedd? Depressed? He was a high achiever and an encourager to others. How can his mother mention his name and refer to him as mentally ill! What terminology! Mentally ill equals crazy, right?

When I myself went to “talk” to someone about my feelings, I was mentally ill too! When a loved one dies, grieving follows. Are you mentally healthy at that point or are you mentally ill?

Should those suffering mental illness be chastised? And when death follows should the “culprit” or “victim” be condemned? Damned to hell, literally, and be buried outside the graveyard?

Without my faith I don’t know where I would be today. My God is a forgiving god; full of love and compassion. He understands his child coming into heaven after cancer or suicide. Pain = pain, physical or mental. I’m glad God is our judge! Let us be the listeners and encouragers, get help to people that need it. Often women reach out for help. Men think there’s shame in opening up and bearing their pain.

The opposite is really true; it takes strength to “work” through your feelings. It’s like spiritual surgery. Our society is starting to listen to the cries of depression, even starting to offer or get help. Unless you have walked in one’s shoes you cannot really know the depth of pain one is feeling. As for the survivors of suicide, words are inadequate. Don’t search for the “right” ones to say! There aren’t any! Please don’t give advice: “Put it behind you, it’s time to move on!” Says who? “You’ve lost your child, but you still have your spouse!” “But I’m mourning my child!”

As I submit this letter to the Frontenac News I believe I honour Robin Williams, Wade Belak and my dear son Jedd Vandenheuvel. As in cancer, those suffering from depression fight a valiant fight with their disease. Missing him and shedding countless tears goes without saying. We will love you always, Jedd!

Your mom, Anja Cameron, & family

Editor’s Note: Frontenac Community Mental Health and Addiction Services has a 24-hour Crisis Line that can be called 24 hours a day at 613-544-4229. For additional information about the many supports and services offered through AMHS-KFLA please call 613-544-1356.

Mental Health services and referrals are also available through your local medical center, family health team and/or community services organization

Lakelands Family Health Team: 613-336-8888; Denbigh: 613-333-1333

Sharbot Lake Family Health Team: 613-279-2100.

Sydenham Medical Centre: 613-376-3327

Verona Medical Centre: 613-374-2077

Land o’Lakes Community Services: 613-336-8934

Northern Frontenac Community Services: 613-279-3151.

Southern Frontenac Community Services: 613-376-6477