Feature Article April Fool's Issue
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BIRD Checkby Iggy PlatThe Ontario Ministry of Natural Resources has embarked on a revolutionary program, designed to preserve its native flora & fauna. Spurred by a series of articles on invasive species by the Frontenac News own Charlie Stewart, the ministry is moving to eliminate one of the biggest group of culprits in the importing of new and dangerous organisms migratory birds.
Weve known for a long time that migratory birds were a serious factor in the invasion problem, says Ray Avis, Special Investigator of Migratory Problems for the ministry. But its only after the impressive arguments in the Frontenac News that we were able to convince the government to fund this prevention tactic. Avis stresses that birds are prime carriers of foreign seeds, spores, insects, and fish eggs, all of which cling to their feet, lodge in their crops, and are spread through their feces. Most people never think about the millions and millions of invaders that arrive in our province because some little warbler squatted on a bush, says Avis. We face an invasion of epidemic proportions, and now we are finally able to act. I only hope its not too late.
The prevention tactic in question - called Barriers: Invaders Released after Decontamination, or BIRD involves the construction of huge nets along the Canada/US border from Lake of the Woods to Quebec. These nets will stretch 75 metres into the air, trapping flocks of northbound visitors as they wing across the border. A team of trained inspectors will then dust the birds feathers and swab their little behinds with antiseptic in order to kill any threatening species. After two days of feeding on only native plants and insects, the detainees will be released in groups of 500 to 1000, free from whatever alien organisms they might have picked up in foreign lands.
The release programs will be a spectacular sight for bird lovers, says Avis. We can see a time when a whole new industry will develop around catering to the bird watching community, who will flock to the release sites to add species to their life lists of sightings. In fact, the News has learned that the Frontenac Management Board is already lobbying for release sites to be set in Central and North Frontenac Townships, and border towns throughout the province are gearing up for the influx of seasonal ministry employees. Weve laid in a whole store room of binoculars and Tilley hats, says one excited local merchant. This is the economic break weve been waiting for all our lives!
As for the BIRD project itself, We are indebted to the News for bringing the problem of invasive species to the publics attention, enthuses Avis. This program is a model containment system that we can share with the rest of the country and with our neighbours to the south. We cant wait to give them the BIRD.
