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Alcoholism_The_Sister

Feature Article March 27

Feature Article March 27, 2003

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The Sister - Part 2

This series of articles was written by one of our readers. The stories are true; the names are fictitious.. The content of this article is not suitable for children.My big brother Martin (not his real name) was not only cool, but way too cool. He made motorcycles and gave rides to us little kids. Being the youngest kid, and a girl with big blue eyes, and long blonde curly locks, Martin often took me on his motorbike to help get attention from the opposite sex. And his scheme worked beautifully. Being 9 years older than me, he was my idol.

Martin not only was my brother, but he was friends with my two brothers and I, who where much younger than the rest of the family. Martin played with us kids. He built forts, made mud pies and ate them!! He was our clown and our snuggler when we needed a cuddle. He made life in our turbulent home easier.

But as we grew up and Dads drinking became worse, Martin began to change. He too started drinking and doing drugs. His attitude changed. He became weird, so to speak, and lost interest in us younger kids. Later on Martin married and had a child on his own. One night, when I was about 12, I was asked to babysit my little niece for the first time. Martins wife was in the back bedroom getting dressed while I was in the front living room. Martin came out to iron a pair of pants and looked at me really funny like, and walked over to stand in front of the chair I was sitting on. He pulled his underwear down exposing his enlarged private parts. He asked me to do things that shocked the life right out of me. I called out to his wife to see if she wanted to give me any instructions before she left, which caused Martin to move away. He growled under his breath, Wait until I take you home little sister, then youll see what I have specially for you.

I couldnt believe he would say that to me or even act that way. The rest of the night I was a basket case. I figured that I was going to get raped by my older brother if I went home with him, so I called my sister to come get me, stating that I didnt think it was safe for Martin to drive me home after he was drinking. She agreed. When they came home and found my sister there waiting to take me home, Martin just glared at me as if I committed murder. As we were leaving, he bent down and kissed my cheek and whispered, Another time then. Real soon I hope. I almost fainted.

Alcoholism_The_SisterThat was the beginning of his stalking me! And I am serious about it. Whenever I was out at night with friends, Martin would drive by waiting to catch me alone. All my friends thought I had the most over- protective brother around. I couldnt tell anyone, especially not my Mom, for Martin was her favourite, and Dad was too drunk to care. I couldnt tell my sister because (well that is another story that I dont want to get into right now.) The only person I told was my best friend Nancy, who volunteered to baby-sit for Martin from then on. I managed to get my other brother to loan me his bike, which I learned to ride like a speed racer, so that whenever I was out at night, I could ride like the bat out of hell down pathways which Martins car couldnt go in order to avoid his constant persistence.

This continued on for two years until Dad died. While at the funeral, Martin put his arm around me and whispered, Dont worry little sister, I will walk you down the aisle when you get married. I pulled away from his grasp and told him to go to hell. Martin moved to another town, and eventually so did I. Martins drinking became worse and I eventually lost all contact with him. I never sent him cards for birthdays or Christmas. When he would phone home throughout the years, I refused to talk to him. He became abusive and his wife left him. I watched my mother torn apart, for she loved Martin so much. He would often call her, telling her was going to commit suicide like Dad. He loved to torture us.

Then one day Mom asked me (after I was married) why I didnt talk to Martin, and I broke down and told her. She was devastated but not surprised. She agreed that I should not speak to him, and stated she would eventually talk to him about his behaviour. But she couldnt. He was too far gone.

Then one day out of the blue, about 12 years later I received a phone call from Martin. He was crying and begging me for forgiveness. He said, I know Ive done some terrible things in my life, but what I tried to do to you is unforgivable. I cant believe that I sunk that low, and that was only at the beginning of my drinking and drug abuse. I hate to think about what I have done throughout the years. Little sister, Im in A.A. now and have been clean for 115 days, but one of the reasons I called is that part of my rehab is to call those I have hurt the most and tell them I am sorry. You havent spoken to me for years, and you and I know why, and for that I am so sorry. I dont deserve forgiveness, and you dont need to give it, but I just wanted to say I love you and now that I am sober, to say that I am so sorry for ruining what we had that was so special.

We both cried and I forgave him and told him that I loved him. Martin has been sober for the last 12 years. He has changed so much that it is unbelievable. What a transformation has gone on in his life. Two years ago I planned a family reunion for my siblings and Mom. The last time we had seen each other all together was over 20 years. When Martin saw me he couldnt wait to hold me close and we wept like babies. He is still my motorcycle man, clown and playmate. And all because he chose to do something different with his life than drink it all away. Now my niece has her daddy, and her children has a fantastic grandfather. A.A. made the difference. And because of what the rest of the family had experienced with our father and brother, drinking is not a problem for us. We have decided that our lives are too important to waste them away.

Next: The Wife Part 3
With the participation of the Government of Canada