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MAizie\\\'s_Plan

Feature Article August 1

Feature Article August 1, 2001

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Maizie's PlanA tug at the lower end of the wiggle waggle I was trying to control in the wake from a whining personal watercraft indicated Mazinaw Maizie was back. Would she have her G8 Summit Meeting solution to eliminate future financial woes of North Frontenac Township?

My favorite monster didn't even greet me in her enthusiasm to expound on her attempts for good government and attainable peace and prosperity across the world.

" Don't suppose you spent a minute thinking about being a host to the world leaders?" Maizie asked.

Without pausing she continued, "Way up back of nowhere is Schooner Lake and the North FrontenacTownship owns some campsites there. I suggest the good township fathers and mothers donate one on an island for a week and take the G8 world leaders to it. While western Canada battles over a decoy conference the 8 leaders can have a secret meeting in NF Township. They canoe in with a tent, some supplies, fishing equipment and their theories for world prosperity. No cameras for photo opportunities, no hangers-on for support and no publicity until it is over. No one will even know they were there until seven days later when the survivor paddles back. "

"The survivor! You mean.?"

"You bet! The last couple of winters most of the human race sat glued to television sets watching faked 'Survivals' in a wilderness," she interrupted. "Now make it real. May the best man win. He who survives has the opportunity to put his theory into practice until another round of haggling next year."

"Maizie, pretty drastic, I don't think the human race would stand for such fatal negotiations."

"Come now Laddie, you are too naive. These same world leaders have no qualms sending you commoners to slaughter each other for a cause or to riot; give them a taste of their own medicine. I have a feeling that after some of them have drawn the short straw that the rest may be willing to compromise and do some serious agreeing rather than just trying to master wording and agendas. There will be no saving face on isolated Schooner Lake, there will be only the final prize, survival."

"You have a point Maizie, there is a lot of jostling and posturing for publicity and votes rather than getting on with planning but I am not certain the leaders will want to lay everything on the line. Most of them live the high life and will be reluctant to forfeit it for a principle."

"Good test for their sincerity Laddie, they ask you to do that in every war they start. Their predecessors in the middle ages sat atop a horse and were out front of the charging soldiers. They later refined that to individual combat on the jousting court and all I am suggesting is that you renew that procedure; but let them do the battling privately so we can get on with living without their public squabbling."

"And North Frontenac Township, how is it's future financial woes solved?" I questioned.

" Laddie, Laddie, have you stopped thinking altogether in this hot weather? After the ball is over imagine the number of Canadians who will want to camp beside Schooner Lake and be able to say Grampa Jean jousted (and perhaps survived) here. Local businesses will boom selling souvenir broken clubs and empty tear gas canisters shipped in from the west. As peace descends onto the world these will have suddenly become rare antiques. The Township can charge admission to the curious and quit arguing with the trailer squatters about paying their fair share of taxes."

With that she slipped under water and swam back to her contemplative rocking chair on the bottom of Mazinaw Lake.

With the participation of the Government of Canada