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Oil_and_Water_in_Sydenham

Feature Article April Fool

Feature Article April Fool's Issue

LAND O' LAKES NewsWeb Home

Oil and water mixing nicely in Sydenhamby Harriet HillendaleSurveyors drilling test holes preparatory to installing a water system for Sydenham village made an exciting discovery earlier this week. Engineer Robert Hasenpfeffer today confirmed a large oil deposit underlying the western end of Sydenham Lake and most of the adjacent village. "Shes oil, all right," confirmed Mayor Leopard, "almost fuel grade right as she comes out of the ground." Plans are rapidly moving ahead to establish refineries, barreling and distribution facilities on the site of the former village.

Councillors Hills and Whan are chairing the ad hoc relocation committee. "Once the 220 or so former village homeowners realized they would each be receiving several hundred thousand dollars to help with moving costs, weve had nothing but cooperation," reports councilor Whan. They have been working with the former Sydenham Water Committee to fast-track rezoning of properties north of the village, in order to allow greater housing density. Its estimated that Edwardian Villas area alone will be able to accommodate at least 100 more houses, most with views of the lake and the refinery, and some with tennis courts.

The Trans-Canada Trail and the Rideau Trail, both of which run through the former village of Sydenham, will be relocated along the K&P right-of-way. "Its only fair some of that money gets passed around," says a former opponent of the trail system, who asked not to be named, "Im planning to get me an ATV with all the bells and whistles, just as soon as the cheque clears the bank."

At the last council meeting in the old township hall (which is to be taken down and reassembled at Gould Lake, where it will house a museum displaying artifacts from the oil discovery), Mayor Leopard passed out cigars to council, staff and newspaper reporters in honour of the occasion. Councilor Probate was overheard saying, "Gee thanks, but I dont inhale."

Councilors from both Portland and Storrington areas continue to press for full township amalgamation as soon as possible. We always did think Loughborough had the potential to become an asset, and its good to be proven right," commented Councilor Barsmyth.

With the participation of the Government of Canada