Feature Article October 23, 2003
LAND O' LAKES NewsWeb HomeContact Us
You want my business?
Thanksgiving is over and the leaves are falling; soon the first snowfall will lie on the ground and the stores will gird their loins for my Christmas dollars.
I am not an ardent shopper; in fact I absolutely hate buying things for others. I will do the chore if given a list of what is needed and all the relevant details written down, size, colour, amount, maximum price, etc. etc. This is not a situation that is conducive for Christmas shopping. There is no surprise when my gifts are opened unless I make them myself.
I have tried to analyze my shopping phobia. There is no problem about entering a store looking for groceries, hardware or even clothes for myself and making a decision what is needed, its value, etc. But I dislike buying for others, even when hints are offered. It is not that I do not wish to give but I want to give worth and that I find difficult to find in stores that are designed for wholesale impulse buying. I do not appreciate being told that my loved ones need this, can't live without that or will forever be my love slave for a whiff of . The sinful multitude of choices, colours and variations turns me off. This annual exploitation of a significant Christian Occasion to line the coffers of merchants and moneylenders is rather ironic to many of us
The only pleasure I derive from Christmas shopping is to gainfully engage those who are serving me. The clerks are only doing their job, while owners and managers well protected from the public create the policies, procedures and pressures; but I also deserve some Christmas Joy and it is with the clerks I must deal. I have my strategy and it is no different treatment that what I receive from those desiring my business. I shall only do unto them what they do unto me.
If they hand me a 20-dollar bill in change, I shall refuse to complete the transaction unless they put it in their little anti-counterfeiting machine. If they don't trust me, why should I trust them?
"Do you have a 'Loyalty Card'?" This I love to hear while at the front of a long cashier's line with my meager little purchase. I empty that section of my wallet, fan a multitude of tattered plastic cards on the counter and suggest she pick out the most appropriate one. Usually I don't have one for that particular chain, as my Significant Helpmate jealousy hoards current ones with her discount coupons. I rant a bit about the store's loyalty to customers by providing the best price and service. I pack up my wallet when I sense she is about to call the 'Assistant Manager in Charge of Cashiers' for help. Sometimes I wait for that to happen so I can get all the details about their program and compare its merits to others, while the line impatiently waits.
I am glad that the lowly clerks of yore are gone and we now have the marketing concept of "Customer Service" on a tag with a name stuck underneath and pinned upon a bosom. I take advantage of the offer. They want to provide customer service; I shall give them the opportunity after mentally rearranging my list so she has to accompany me back, forward and across the store. We old fellows have adapted the knack of looking helpless and I do want her to feel needed. I wish the merchants were as thoughtful about me.
I lack Christmas Spirit? HUMBUG! Here I am first off the blocks in the annual race to bribe our loved ones. I have even beaten the shopkeepers who wait until the Halloween shekels are added up.
