Feature article January 20, 2005LAND O' LAKES NewsWeb Home
Most of us make resolutions each New Year and most of us probably have broken some already. It is a trait of the human race to intend the best but achieve less.
Although I havent tested it yet, my sole resolution is going to be to better understand our governance. I hope to be able to lift up mine eyes from the daily problems that we little fellows have to solve, or skirt around, just to exist on this old earth and to see the big picture. I shall replace our Canadian leaders eyeballs with mine and hopefully better understand some of the political decisions being made. Will I be enlightened or further jaded?
The first eyeball replacement, by the way at my personal expense as neither OHIP nor The Frontenac News is covering expenses in this little experiment, will be into Uncle Dalts head. I want to see how his provincial view of raising children differs from mine. No question that from aloft there is unique perspective.
Ah! A successful transplant, now I am seeing what I must do.
Create day care spaces all over the province. Yank little children from their mothers bosoms and get them away from family values and beliefs. As soon as possible instil them with government sanctioned philosophy and brainwash them with centralized propaganda out of Toronto: they will be obedient voters when they grow up.
I am so enthused with fulfilling this election promise that I cannot afford the time to study history. I havent time to recall the failed Russian experiments with state run 24 hour daycares a couple of generations ago. Hitlers youth groups of adolescent Brown Shirts saturated with propaganda were a failure but that wont stop me. Canadian Aboriginals lost an entire generation and their society still hasnt recovered because children were yanked from their families and tossed into religious run but state financed schools. The ancient and until then successful aboriginal culture was not good enough in the new emerging Canada: Governments, not parents, knew what was best for citizens.
Ill arrange their pliable little minds, which are most influenced during the first 6 years of life, so as not to disturb me when they grow older. The sooner the twig is bent the easier the twisting will be!
I want both parents to work, not raise kids. Encourage them to work and the taxes will flow in to keep this a prosperous province. I will have to pay for all the stress related illnesses and breakdowns from such a hectic life style and what better way than taxing the ambitious who are causing the problem. Dont worry my dears, scurry about trying to better thy neighbour: Ill look after your little darlings since you dont want to raise them.
Posh on the belief that both parents have to work for shelter and to feed their families. I shall have my big business friends continually bombard them with lures of luxurious, useless purchases and easy debt. I shall emphasize wants not needs. I shall encourage the myth that keeping a home and raising a family is inferior to slaving as paid labourers in industry and business. I shall enslave two wage earners rather than one and train the next generation all in one foul sweep. Future political leaders will worship me. Move over, Tommy Douglas -- Ill be the next Greatest Canadian.
Ouch, the transplant has been rejected and I have a headache from all this political leading. It is tough being superior, knowing what is best and making all these decisions. Im not certain Ill try it again; Uncle Dalt can keep his job? (sic).